Sex and Mockery
by jessabean
Summary: Post. 4.11 Before return. Derek realized he made a huge mistake, will Merideth take him back? Will she be able to trust him? What is ahead in the future for the pair. MerDer. Rated M for later chapters.
1. I Bet It Stung

A.N. – I do not own anything in relation to Grey's Anatomy, although I wish I did.

- This takes place before the return of the show. Just my spin on things during the break.

Chapter One.

Merideth Grey was at the Emerald City Bar with her friends. She noticed him on the other side of the bar. He was Derek Shepherd and he was alone. _'Why isn't his stupid nurse with him?'_ she had asked herself. She turned away, just as he noticed her looking over at him. Next thing she knew Joe was bringing her a drink.

"Complements of a gentleman," was all that Joe said.

"Who? Where?" she asked back.

"Take a wild guess Mer," he said as he turned and walked back to his position behind the bar.

'_Time to stir up some trouble,_' she thought as she slid off the bar stool. Christina was sitting beside her and gave her a look of caution when she realized who had sent the drink over and that was exactly who Merideth was going over to see.

"Play nice," Christina warned, returning to her beer and the remainder of the group.

Merideth walked somewhat awkwardly over to the booth where Derek was seated, and attempted to nonchalantly lean up against the back of the bench directly in his line of vision.

"Is this supposed to mean that you are trying to get back in my good graces here? Tequila. At least you know my poison." Merideth was staring at him now, waiting impatiently for his answer, which in her drunken state seemed like forever.

"For one, no. I am not trying to ease my way back into your good graces. I'm hoping that you will start talking to me outside of work once and a while. And secondly, there is no way I could forget your poison."Derek had a tiny grin on his face, and was looking at her with his formerly kind blue eyes.

"Don't get all McDreamy on me. It's not going to work. Okay, maybe it would. But you still have no right to McDreamy me. You're the one who moved on almost instantly with the scrub nurse," Merideth said bitterly. "By the way, where is said scrub nurse? Does she know you're buying me drinks at a bar trying to suck up?"

"No, she doesn't. She doesn't even know I'm here. I was actually meeting Mark, but he's been delayed. He should be arriving any minute."

"Well it's nice to know that you still have at least one friend. Especially since most of the hospital hates you, talks about you behind you're back and thinks you're a jerk. There's a bet. Did you know that? A bet on how long it's going to take you to realize that the scrub nurse is just a fix, a rebound. Not that I want to let you in on all the details, but I do have a lot of money riding on that bet."

"Oh really," he replied, offended. "So you're betting on whether or not the Rose thing is going to hold up. Hmmm… who had Tuesday on the bet?"

"What do you mean who had Tuesday? What is that supposed to mean?"

"That, Merideth, means that I ended things with Rose on Tuesday. Care to tell me who won so I could congratulate them on their winnings?"

"Izzie. Go congratulate Izzie," Merideth said, pointing behind her with her thumb, looking stunned and sitting down at the table.

"I'll do it later. You look shocked."

"A little…," Merideth was interrupted by the door opening and Mark yelling at Derek.

"Hey man, sorry I'm late. I had to pick up someone on the way here." Mark looked excited. It was unusual for Mark, considering he was always looking more serious and woman hungry. The bell above the door chimed again and a tall sleek figure that Merideth recognized, even with her current double vision, walked towards the table.

"Addison?" Derek asked.

"What? You're surprised to see me. You didn't think that Mark wasn't about to call in the brute squad for this one did you. If you did your funny. We couldn't let you fuck up again, Derek. I came up to knock some sense into you. But it looks like it was accomplished before I got here. Thank God." Addison hadn't changed. She had definitely gotten more sun, her complexion was darker. It suited her well. She looked wonderful with the ivory skin tone she had while in Seattle, but her new L.A. bronze made her glow.

Derek sunk into the booth and pushed over to allow Mark to sit down beside him. Merideth did the same for Addison. Merideth gazed out of the window and quickly became lost in the raindrops on the window. She was oblivious to the others at the table for a moment. Lost in her thoughts.

"… Mark called me about what was going on. I could let you leave the woman that you ended our marriage for Derek. I'm not bitter; I would actually like us to be friends. It's healthy. I just couldn't stand aside and let you do this." Addison's words jolted Merideth out of her daydreams.

She glanced around the table, noticing Mark staring at her. Derek and Addison also turned to look at her. "Mer, you look … well, you look drunk," Addison said as she pushed some of Merideth's hair behind her ears.

All of a sudden she felt a wave of nausea come over her. She needed some air. She needed to get out of the bar. Without saying a word, she pushed Addison out of the booth, and ran to where Cristina was seated at the bar.

"What's wrong? You look pale," Cristina asked as Merideth grabbed her bags.

"Air, that's all," she said as she fanned herself with her hand.

Quickly she turned and continued out of Joe's. The light rain that was now falling felt wonderful on her warm skin. The cool air was soothing to her lungs, which felt heavy inside. She hated how Derek could make her feel the way he did. Just looking at him made her melt. He made her heart race with a sense of anticipation; even if she knew that nothing would become of it. Her thoughts always lingered to his naked body against hers. The way it used to be. Before sex and mockery, and before Addison showed up. When they were content simply lying in each others arms and spending their days off together. Not eating or sleeping, merely enjoying the dirty pleasures they shared together. She was just beginning to feel at peace when she heard the door to the bar open. She quickly turned her head to see who had decided to leave, and averted her gaze just as quickly when she saw Derek walking towards her.

"Merideth?" he asked as he approached her. "Merideth are you okay?"

"Do I look okay? Seriously!"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You left in quite a hurry. It would make me feel much better if I drove you home. You need to get some rest by the looks of it." Derek advanced closer to her, attempting to place his arm behind her back to direct her to his car. The walk began quickly enough only to have Merideth suddenly stop moving. He looked at her, concerned considering her current state.

"I think…" was all Merideth could say before she turned towards a patch of grass along the sidewalk and began vomiting. Derek stood behind her, holding her hair and rubbing her back like a gentleman. He could feel her heaving underneath his hand, which didn't help him try to ignore the sounds of the vomiting and coughing.

"Come on Mer. It's time to take you home." There was no protest to his plan. Once they reached the car, he gently guided her into the vehicle. He thought about placing a bag in her lap, just incase she had to throw up again, but figured he would be safe with the window down.

The drive to the house only took ten minutes. Once there Derek helped Merideth out of the car and walked her to her door. He tried the door and realized that it was locked. _'Everyone must be out,'_ he thought. He searched through Merideth's bag, found her keys and unlocked the door. He tried once more to guide Merideth safely, but was unsuccessful when he noticed she had fallen asleep. He took her into his arms and carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. He placed her on the bed and covered her up with her blankets. He wanted desperately to lie beside her, but knew she would surely have a fit.

Derek walked towards the door and stopped. He turned and looked at her sleeping form once more. He decided that he was going to stay on the couch, and then she wouldn't be left alone. He sighed as he was about to turn away and walk downstairs.

"Derek," Merideth said groggily from her sleep.

"Yes…" he answered. Not sure exactly what she wanted.

"Come lay down with me."

Derek walked back towards the bed and knelt down beside her, "Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. Just lay down."

He obeyed her drunken wishes and climbed into bed beside her after he got undressed so he was left in his boxers. Once he had lain down, she rolled over and laid her head against his chest. He was happy that she had allowed him to stay with her. Within minutes, she was asleep, and shortly after that he too was asleep.

Continue… Yes/No. Let me know what you think , or give any suggestions. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows. Hope you enjoyed it!


	2. No Air

**AN: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, sadly. If I did, things would go a little differently.**

The sun began to peak through the curtains, lightening Meredith's bedroom with its early morning rays. Derek rubbed his eyes as he awoke from his rather peaceful slumber. He looked beside him and realized why he had slept comfortably. Her porcelain body was lying in a deep slumber with her back to him, her gentle breath sounds making him feel more at home than he had in the months since they had ended their relationship, or rather their 'Sex and Mockery'. He was somewhat hesitant the night before to stay in her room, even though she had asked him to. Slowly he raised his arm up towards her shoulder and began rubbing her upper arm with the outside of his index finger. The feel of her skin, and the contact with her caused his heart to race.

He felt Meredith twitch after a few seconds, his hand immediately stopped and shot back towards his own body as if he were electrocuted. Derek heard her inhale heavily and figured she was waking up. Quickly he rolled over and sat up on the bed, grasping for the pants he removed before getting into bed. Suddenly he felt a soft delicate hand on his arm.

"What are you doing?" Meredith said, somewhat raspy. "Lay back down with me."

"I was getting dressed," Derek replied as he turned to look at her, "Don't you still hate me?"

"Derek, I didn't hate you, and I don't now. I was upset, and discouraged. I had to avoid you to keep my sanity. Please, get back under the covers with me," she begged.

"Are you still drunk?" he asked as he checked her forehead for a fever.

"Not really. The vomiting helped with that. "

He giggled a little inside followed by the thought of him rubbing her back the night before to ease the discomfort of heaving. "So you actually want me to stay. If I knew any better, I'd say that you had a hidden agenda Miss Grey," he said, giving her the McDreamy face.

"So what if I do? I'm sure that you'd enjoy it if I did. Now shut up and get back into bed."

Derek dropped his pants back onto the floor and placed himself back under the covers on the bed. She turned to face the window again, and leaned back into him so they were laying together, spooning. Their bodies fit together perfectly. He longed for a long time to feel this comfortable and at ease for a long time. They laid there in silence for a few minutes, both of them content.

Meredith was the first to speak, her voice soft and light. "Derek?"

"Yes Meredith?" he replied, close to a whisper.

"Why did you end things with Rose?"

He knew that question would come up eventually, but he hadn't realized she was going to ask him so soon. It was very much like her to avoid things like this and bring them back up at a time of struggle. It was because of this that made the times when they should have been fighting harder for their relationship to work, seem like everything was falling through the cracks of their fingers. He knew 

exactly what he needed to tell her, and he didn't want to say to her back. He gently propped himself up onto his elbow and leaned over top of her tiny frame. He gently turned her onto her back so that she was facing him. This was something that he needed to tell her to her face.

"Meredith," he began, "I made a huge mistake. And I am embarrassed with myself that it took me this long to realize it. I've been an ass. Now, don't say anything, I need to get this out, in one shot." She looked into his eyes and nodded in agreement. "You were trying, trying the best that you could. I don't know why I thought that wasn't good enough. I still can't understand why I kissed Rose, and why I dated her and basically flaunted her around you. But deep down I think that it was because I wanted you, and you were hurting. I turned to what I believed would make me happier.

" I shouldn't have left you alone to deal with the problems in your life. I should have been there for you. You were trying, and I realize that now. It just hurt so much to see that you seemed to be getting along okay without me. It tore me up inside. Whenever I kissed Rose, I thought of you. And I will be completely honest here. I did sleep with her, and it wasn't the same, and it wasn't good. If it was good, I wouldn't have been thinking about you the entire time. I just want you to know, that I will be here for you. And I mean it this time. I will wait as long as you want; I just want you to be in my life."

Derek looked at her, desperate to hear her thoughts. Desperate to find out exactly was going through her mind. He scanned her face, trying to read her expression. She wasn't saying anything and the only thing he knew for sure was that there were tears welling up inside her eyes, but they never left Derek's.

"I've been seeing Katherine Wyatt," Meredith suddenly blurted out.

"As in, psychologist Katherine Wyatt?"

"Yes. As in psychologist Katherine Wyatt."

"Why have you been seeing her? Is there something that I could have done?" he paused for a second before continuing, contemplating the question he was about to ask her, "Where you seeing her because of me?"

Meredith stared at Derek, not knowing what to say. When it came down to it, it was partially because of him, but it also had a lot to do with her mother.

"Meredith?" he asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence, "Was it because of me?"

"No. Well, … partially," she said after sighing. "It was somewhat because of you, and partially because of my mother, and the daddy issues, and the abandonment issues. That whole pile of messy crap."

"I am so sorry, Mer. I had no idea that you were in therapy."  
_I really am an ass, _he thought.

"Well you wouldn't have had an idea. You were with Rose. Which actually was the topic of a couple sessions. But I don't want to talk about therapy, Rose, or anything related to my parents and Katherine Wyatt. I just want to relax, and get rid of my hangover."

"Can I at least apologize?" Derek asked. Giving her the 'McDreamy' eyes once more.

"You've given me your rationale for everything already. You can apologize, but you can't expect me to forgive you. At least not right now. I'm a new person Derek Shepherd, and you are going to have to prove to me that you do want me and love me the way you say that you do." She was looking directly into his eyes, wanting desperately to feel his lips against hers. "I still love you, and I still want you. But you have to prove to me that you want me too." A smile spread across her face.

"I will Meredith. I will prove to you that I love you more than I can possibly love any other being in the world."

"Good," she said, moving slowly away from him.

"Where are you going?"he asked, confused.

"I'm going to get in the bath now."

"Can I join you?"

"Why don't you wait a couple minutes and see if I want you to. I'll give you a hint… check the door." And with that, she bounced out of bed and made her way into her private bath.

Derek looked towards the bathroom. She was closing the door while smiling at him softly. Just the thought of her being naked in the bath, so close to him, turned him on. He listened carefully, not hearing the lock on the door click. He smiled to himself, knowing full well that she was inviting him to join her. He sat up in the bed, anticipating what was to come. Not wanting to wait any longer, he stood up from the bed and made his way over to the door and checked the handle. When it turned fully and opened slightly his heart began racing at the sight before him.

Meredith was leaning over the edge of the bathtub, testing the water with her hand. She was naked, her back to him, so he could see the curves of her lower back leading down to her round ass and muscular thighs. He felt himself growing with excitement and ventured into the room.

**Hope you enjoyed the update! Sorry it took so long for it. I've been a little busy. The more reviews I get, the quicker this fic will be updated. So hit the review button and give me some feedback! Suggestions welcome!**


End file.
